Top Ten Reasons Why My Son is a Vampire

Oh and for a definition of what a vampire is, see http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/twilightseries.html and purchase the best-written books of your life!

1. His eyes seriously change from topaz to gold to dark brown (okay maybe not black, but close) depending on the day (nevermind that they also turn blue, green, and everything in between). They don’t go crimson red like some vampires, but that’s because he’s a “vegetarian” vampire, right?
2. His teeth are wicked sharp. Seriously, does he file those things when I'm not watching?
3. He likes to chew on my collarbone. Sometimes he tries to give me hickeys too.
4. Somehow his ice cold (slobber) fingers surprise me when I least expect them.
5. He runs faster than any other human I’ve ever tried to keep up with.
6. He can pull down and drag objects MUCH larger than his own size, including my ginormous diaper bag.
7. He is wise beyond his years. He learns things and NEVER forgets them (like the vampire photographic memory, get it?), like how to use the remote control to turn everything electronic on in the house or ways to open doors and run away quickly before anyone can catch him.
8. He is wicked strong. He can tear up every piece of important paperwork in the house and destroy all things left within his grasp.
9. He can dance like a banshee. It’s all in the leading, right?
10. He barfs up human food. What goes in, must come out. In Jack’s case, it often just comes right back up. Especially since he has the Uncle Tim syndrome and doesn’t know how to stop eating when he’s full. (Stephenie Meyer talks about how vampires barf up human food somewhere on her website, I promise I didn’t just make that one up.)

I thought this was cute:

Jayson used to come home from work and I would find teeny tiny sparkles on his face. It was weird. Then Jack used to get them too. I found out later it was something they'd pick up at Grandma Carpenter's house (not some mistress of Jayson's, which was my first guess). Jayson's younger sisters would sparkle up the bathrooms, which would then sparkle up my men. So, all of my men sparkle! So I guess the 11th reason why Jack is a vampire would be because he sparkles!

11 DAYS UNTIL BREAKING DAWN!! How can we get through the next week and a half? Any suggestions?


Alisa said...

Okay dont get mad because I can tell this means a lot to you but what is Breaking Dawn? P.S. we really want to get together for a game night extravaganza!

Summer said...

Carrie- -k- didn't know you guys moved out allready. Must admit we were a little sad when it was party inviting time and you guys were out of ward boundaries. Where are you guys at? And I can not believe how old Jack is crazy.

Oh, and yes, it was after the rs mom thing that I discovered you guys moved. sadness...

Anyways send me your email and I'll send you an invite to my blog if you'd like.

Lauren said...

Your son is a vampire for sure. Perhaps he will grow up to be as attractive as Edward.

Hey! I am Lauren Kircher, I found you through Lindsay Sherman's blog. I am totally obsessed with Twilight...like, my license plate is personalized to say: EDWDCLN

Adam & Nicole said...

Dying. Yep, that is how I am dealing with the wait for Breaking Dawn. it is KILLING ME! I thought reading them again would make the time pass faster but I still can't put them down and finished them too quickly. My sister and I actually went to Barnes and Noble yesterday to read the 1st chapter of Breaking Dawn (I don't have the special edition of Eclipse). That is how bad it is getting.
I have the book being held for me at Barnes and Noble, and I will be there at midnight to pick it up. Beyond excited is the only way to say how I am feeling about the book!

Emily Shafenberg said...

I am dying waiting for Breaking Dawn. I go to her website every day for the quote of the day. I spend my time re-reading the first three books and pining for more. Jack is adorable and will probably look like Edward one day.

Alisa said...

Yes Carrie I am the "alisa" person! This weekend would be fabulous! I didnt know you were doing summer school.. poor thing!

ashwes said...

ok, i am dying at this post about jack being a vampire and all... soooooo hilarious! i love it!!! he really is a little vampire... and as far as breaking dawn... i suck... i am officially the SLOWEST reader EVER... im still reading eclipse.because i have my own tiny little vampire distraction... payzers!!!! she makes it hard for me to ever have 2 seconds... you know how it is, but its more that im a slow reader! So, i will be lucky to finish eclipse by the time breaking dawn is here!!!! but im gonna devote the next week and a half to finishing it! thanks again so much for the awesome play date! i love you so much carrie!!!

lindser-lou said...

first of all, i think jack is the cutest little boy name, and i might have to copy you one day. and second, ONLY 2 MORE DAYS CARRIE!!!!!

ps - this post makes me wish i had a kid...just so i could call him a vampire too. That's just awesome.